Once you're past the tender breast and the juicy thigh all you have left is a greasy wet box to put your bone in.
(Credits to my good friend, Kitty) You can actually insert anyone's name in this one. Very versatile.
Thursday 8 September 2011
Icky chortle of the day: How is Lindsay Lohan like a bucket of KFC?
Once you're past the tender breast and the juicy thigh all you have left is a greasy wet box to put your bone in.
(Credits to my good friend, Kitty) You can actually insert anyone's name in this one. Very versatile.
My first member!
I'd like to thank my lovely wife Kylie for becoming my first member. (dont ask me how I got your password) I decided when I started this blog to not share it with Facebook- wanted to keep open the prospect of posting things that would be considered "adult". My FB friends list is a mixed bag, so I just sent the link to a few people that I felt it would be fun to share some stuff with. I think my wife is the only one reading this, but then again I haven't really posted much that would inspire any comments. That's kind of what I want. Comments. To the first person that leaves a comment (one sentence pertaining to a post) I will send something in the mail to your house. I'll do it too, seriously. If it's just you and me, Kylie, It's too late to thaw anything for dinner- when you get home we'll do Subway and Panda Box- also we need Toilet-Blu.
Tuesday 6 September 2011
Chubis
Today I'll start the storyboards for Chubis- a short animation bit I'll be working on. St. Chubis is a lesser known Apostle of Our Lord chosen for his availability, referred to privately by some as "St. Upid". I guess he's the patron saint of those of us who are just a bit off-center socially- lacking some of the subtle nuance-ical filters that help to prevent awkward moments.
The clip I'll be working on today centers around an intimate gathering of a few disciples and Jesus. While Jesus is sharing with them 'the parable of the cock-tease' (A parable admonishing those who would taunt birds in cages) , the small group becomes aware of the elephant in the room- a visually repulsive spider that is slowly making it's way toward Jesus' foot.
As the disciples muse to themselves as to how their Master will respond to the impending contact with this vile thing that creepeth,(will he suffer the creature to crawl up his foot?, Will he 'will' the spider to change course?, will the spider change course of his own accord? Does he use this as an opportunity to extol the virtues of the love of life in all of its manifestations?) even Jesus' seems a little unnerved. Chubis breaks the spell of the collective introspection by introducing his bare foot with an audible wet 'crunch'.
While some are curious as to whether or not the unfortunate creature's spiritual form would be in Heaven, it's physical form would later make an appearance during a solemn foot washing ceremony.
The clip I'll be working on today centers around an intimate gathering of a few disciples and Jesus. While Jesus is sharing with them 'the parable of the cock-tease' (A parable admonishing those who would taunt birds in cages) , the small group becomes aware of the elephant in the room- a visually repulsive spider that is slowly making it's way toward Jesus' foot.
As the disciples muse to themselves as to how their Master will respond to the impending contact with this vile thing that creepeth,(will he suffer the creature to crawl up his foot?, Will he 'will' the spider to change course?, will the spider change course of his own accord? Does he use this as an opportunity to extol the virtues of the love of life in all of its manifestations?) even Jesus' seems a little unnerved. Chubis breaks the spell of the collective introspection by introducing his bare foot with an audible wet 'crunch'.
While some are curious as to whether or not the unfortunate creature's spiritual form would be in Heaven, it's physical form would later make an appearance during a solemn foot washing ceremony.
Sunday 4 September 2011
Day one
I'm ready for the next big thing. I am starting this blog as a means of holding myself to accountability. Time to lock in and focus on personal growth. I have, after some 20 years of suffering needlessly (not to mention the strain on my marriage) decided to take the initiative to address some of the maladies from which I suffer. I really have no excuse- just laziness, I suppose, for waiting until now to confront them. The top two are my Restless Leg Syndrome- my case being the worst diagnosed as it manifests itself whilst I sleep and causes great distress to my lovely wife and our small dog. The other of course is my lazy eye. I have taken to wearing sunglasses at all hours as I have found that talking with people causes them to feel awkward. It has actually gotten to the point where it has affected my social life.
I have come to terms with the reality that I have these problems and am ready to face them, no matter the sacrifice. I really am ready for the next big thing. It is time. I have diligently sought from a variety of sources on the cutting edge of scientific advances the latest treatments for these issues and am committed to follow through with a self-prescribed strict treatment regimen. I just ask for understanding and support as I embark on my journey of healing and self-knowledge.
Thank You-
James
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn20323-masturbation-calms-restless-leg-syndrome.html
I have come to terms with the reality that I have these problems and am ready to face them, no matter the sacrifice. I really am ready for the next big thing. It is time. I have diligently sought from a variety of sources on the cutting edge of scientific advances the latest treatments for these issues and am committed to follow through with a self-prescribed strict treatment regimen. I just ask for understanding and support as I embark on my journey of healing and self-knowledge.
Thank You-
James
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn20323-masturbation-calms-restless-leg-syndrome.html
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